Sunday, April 27, 2008

The 'HE' !

It happened to me !! Unbelievable...but yeh, it did happen.Well, I have always been this very practical, bossy, tom boyish kinda gal at school. 'Rule out guys!', ' stay away!' were my patented statements then... I used to tease my friends when they run blushing, laugh at them at their innocence, mock them when they turn pink, badger them when they say "I have a CRUSH"... Those who got vexed up of my teasing used to say, "oh yeah! we don't give a damn to this 'heartless gal!'" Wait there...

Wat did they say?? Heartless? Am i ? First we need to clarify that..what is 'heart'? what is the term 'heartless-ness'? Lemme try being modest, I am this gal, not levelling up to Mother Teresa though, always giving away loads of money to beggars though quite disapproved by many, a member of the coveted PETA, benevolent with pets. Guess heartlessness and I are very far off terms, but as some of my close friends used to put it this way, from farther vistas indeed sky and earth meet and the distance is nullified.. May be true... May be, I was just trying not to be serious with their ideas, striking them off as mere infatuations...May be, just trying to invigorate the environment.. May be... But whatever it is, it didn't look the same. The girls took it to their heart. (Of course, those girls had 'Heart'.. How else can they crush some one else with it..)

One day, a day as normal as any other and a classmate of mine as normal as any other, whom i have seen since months, turned up 10 mins late to the class... I was sitting at the right corner of the class in the first row and could see his reflection in the door glass which was actually intended for the manager to spy out our lectures... I took a look at his reflection in it and tried turning my eyes back to the lecture...My eyes did, but my heart, it did, but craved for a second glance, brain not concentrating on the lecture, heart beating at the speed of light...I was puzzled... Lemme heed to my heart this once i thought... turned back... HE was there still standing at the door not have asked permission...

Why doesn't he ask for a permission to get into the class, probably he doesn't want to disturb the lecture... or may be the real reason is, he's afraid to enter 10 mins late into the class fearing the teacher's reaction... No, he can't be such a coward...my heart denied to look at him in such a way...I wondered...Whose this guy?? 'One of those calm going, attention lineated, non diverting sort of guy, rite?' My thought process zoomed around him until the teacher called out my name... I was startled from my trance, then looked at her to see her glaring in the direction of my sight of vision... She allowed him to enter into the class, chiding him a lil... By then I was almost blushing, my conscience sensing guilt at her stare... yes, I was BLUSHING!!

When the lecture got over, immediately I walked over to the teachers desk, me being the class representative just to have another of millions of looks at him... My eyes were searching for that guy...where is he?? Yes...they sparkled with happiness at the sight of him... He was there not quite bothering me, chatting away to glory with one of his friends... Just to alter his attention I was standing there like a fool, shouting at the top of my voice, issuing orders to the class to be quiet. Everyone turned towards me in a slight irritating manner, i didn't care coz my eyes were completely focused on him...Then he looked at me... My heart started beating faster, I could feel my blood gushing into my face and I'm sure many of my friends must have noticed my cheeks TURNING PINK...

Just an hour since I've noticed him...I started acting so weird...My god!! i don't want anymore of it...After the school was over for the day, I went home blaming myself for prioritising my heart over my brain. For the first time in my life, i looked at myself into the mirror for a long time wondering how i look, how i must be looking to his eyes... will he appreciate me... and there again i stand, in front of the mirror, B-L-U-S-H-I-N-G Again!!

P.S.: This a completely 'FICTITIOUS' one! If it melted any hearts out there, it's purely co-incidental and I'm not responsible for it ;)

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

what am i doin??? contemplating me....

"Hello World".This was how my first program in C Lang. started in ma 1st sem...A novice in programming languages...d very first class scared d hell outta me...n i decided instantly 'm either hating it or quitting it...well u see the latter option is something next to impossible...settled wid d first...N now me in ma 4th sem should submit 3 programmes tomorrow...hell yeah!!!wasn't able to get rid of it...AUTO CAD came into my life as a nightmare...no one to blame tho...n can u believe dat this is my breadth subject...carried away by the glory of d name CAD associated wid civil engg., opted for it as my breadth n now its taking d breath outta me...holy crap it is....

its ticking 3:04:56 in ma digital clock...wtf??at such an unearthly hour am i startin a new blog???
well this is what i am...n dis is how i work...am i analyzing myself...naa naa...

me sitting in front of d comp...wid 6 tabs open in ma Internet explorer...google whacking...wid its high on today...10 words in 13 mins...along wid another guy...chatting wid him...wikiing something so arbit dat now 'm stuck up reading "why cavemen are portrayed as being hairy??"...lol... worrying when they'll b dragging us to d common room for the inter hall choreo...courtesy:bloody first yrs...11th series o' 1st season of "how i met your mother" in paused mode on VLC player...jaded dat 'm nt meeting ted's wife, even after 11 episodes..nightwish's nemo song playing loudly on ma windows media player...oh!!!how i wish ...fiddling wid my program 'm supposed to b submitting tom...hoping dat dis drawn-out shit would end tom...suddenly fancied penning down my thoughts...nd it suddenly struck...y don't i start a new blog again...promising myself dat 'll continue dis one...wid regular postings...well lets c...

high spirits...happiness...worry...bitchy....fed up...jaded...wish...want...fiddle...hope...fancy...promise...resume...
well these r all d words which visited me simultaneously at this unearthly hour,tho mundane to me...

enough of d filth of a mind i dropped out over here!!!
signing out finally.... 3:30:27 am